Lately I have felt so, so tired and I really don’t understand why. We are way past the night feed stage and the little tyke is sleeping fairly well at the moment but I still feel sapped of energy. Its when I feel like this that it makes me wonder; could I cope having another baby? I don’t know if I can and that makes me feel a little bit sad. Am I alone in feeling like this?
I found the baby stage really, really hard. For the first six months I did not enjoy it at all and I felt very low at times. The sleep deprivation was so hard to deal with and I struggled with the physical after effects of giving birth for a long while. Please don’t get me wrong, the first time I layed eyes on my son it was love at first sight, but I felt absolutely useless in the beginning. I didn’t know how to do anything and I had zero confidence in my abilities. If I did it again of course I would probably be better, in fact I know I could be better. But I still worry how I would do.
If I am honest, I would love a little brother or sister for the little tyke some day. It would be lovely to see him bond and play with another sibling, he would make such a good big brother. But if it didn’t happen for whatever reason would he still be ok and how would I feel? Would I regret it? I guess work is not really helping me at the moment, its been pretty full on and the stress is probably contributing to the tiredness more than anything. Also, the little tyke is walking now, so he is into everything and he can be bit of handful at times. But I love how he is now, he’s so great at this age and I will miss this time. Please don’t grow up too quickly little tyke!
There is so much to look forward to with our little family and I am excited about what the future has to hold. With regards to extending it one day; it may or may not happen. Who knows how I will feel in time to come?
Ta ta for now xxx