Why am I so jealous?

This sounds completely and utterly ridiculous in my own head, but sounds even worse as I write it down. I am really quite jealous of anyone who is pregnant at the moment. There I said it. I don’t where it comes from, the thought of being pregnant and looking after a needy little baby as well as a toddler, frankly scares me to death. But I don’t know, my heart kind of aches for another addition to our family and a sibling to my little boy.

The other day I had a conversation with a work colleague who was telling me about how she keeps a stash of girly toys at hand for whenever her little granddaughters visit. Prams and pushchairs, dollys and handbags are a regular sight in her household when the little ones come over to play. Then she said something that triggered something inside me “Well next time it could be a little girl for you”…… of course I laughed it off and said something about liking my sleep too much. But the reality is, I would love for that to be true!

We know a couple who announced that they were pregnant a month or so ago and I am guessing that they should be going for their 20 week scan soon. I am praying that it isn’t a little girl, its terribly selfish of me. But I just know that it will bring all these feelings to the surface again and I don’t want to act on them. Not yet anyway.

I am scared about going on maternity pay. I am scared about the pain of childbirth. I am scared about how I will cope with two children on very little sleep. I am scared that I will not cope with my return to work and that I could be pushed out of my job. But I long for another child.

Mother Nature you really are a bitch.

Does anyone else feel the same way?

Ta ta all xxx

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Author: mummydummy34

Learner Mum to a cheeky but very sweet little chappy. Also wife to a very understanding husband and custodian of the laziest cat in Britain!

15 thoughts on “Why am I so jealous?”

  1. Firstly I don’t mean to rub it in but I already have one of each.. I’m only saying this as I feel even worse than you in the jealously front as I long so much for another baby 2 of my friends have recently had babies and another 3 are due this summer. I feel awful for the way I feel when they talk bout the scans and exciting nursery shopping pram shopping etc… I should be happy for them !!! And don’t get me wrong I am happy for them I just wish it was me aswell. But like yourself I don’t think I could do 3 under 5. I would literally have zero hours sleep. I would probably never have time to shower or even brush my teeth lol PMSL.!! 🀣🀣🀣🀣 but honestly I feel your pain! X

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh! I feel exactly the same way and slightly jealous of those who are pregnant at the moment as I really want another. But unfortunately we need to save up first before we can try for another. So I completely understand! Money is a huge factor for us and also I think I can’t handle it! Stay strong, the time will come for both of us soon before we know it ❀😊❀

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Exactly how I felt before having my 2nd. Yes I’m skint, yes it’s bloody hard work (mainly the older one) and yes I have sacrificed my career (I do still work 3 days a week but progression is totally off the agenda!) and I’ve gained wrinkles but it’s 100% worth it! Feel really blessed with my two though so that’s my services to the human race complete.xx

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  4. I have 2 boys and my partner longs for a girl. It’s hard to see others but I love having 2 boys their bond is unreal xx 😘 although it would be nice to see some pink knickers on my line too other than smelly boys Clothes πŸ˜‚ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Aww…. I hear ya! I felt the same way before we decided to go for baby #2, I promise. It seemed all of my friends were having their second, and I wanted that, too. I wonder if it’s a bit of Fear Of Missing Out, too.
    About not feeling ready … well, I think we’re never really ready for that next child until it actually arrives! It always takes some getting used to. I think if we waited both times until we felt ready, we might just be getting pregnant now!!!
    But best to you for getting through this – it’s tough feelings to sort out, I know…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yikes, that is tough… I know a few friends here who are in the same boat. Job security is primo! I don’t know how you feel about it (and every body is different, physically), but there isn’t a huge rush to have a second. I mean, a few years’ difference is okay! If it means making sure you’re ready and your job is secure, then a little wait is worth it. πŸ™‚ Plus having two young kids is tough! Sometimes I wish my oldest was older…..

        Like

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